Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Filthy Stepdaughter Comes Home Late Again

NEW BEDFORD, MA (AIP) – Local stepfather Michael Grist has once again caught his filthy little stepdaughter Megan Camponi returning home late on a Friday and has told her it’s the last time he will allow her to be out hoeing around, according to local police reports.

“That dirty little girl came home late again,” said Grist, speaking from the front porch of his rural New Bedford home. “She knows what time she’s supposed to be home and, damn it, she tries to slip in late all the time. And she’s a dirty little girl.”

Camponi, speaking to reporters as she sulked home admitted that she was, in fact, filthy and had no excuse.

“I was hoeing around,” said Camponi, a 15-years old who stands just 4-9 and weighs 98 lbs. “I’m filthy and I know it and I got home late again but that doesn’t make me evil or anything. I just lost track of the time.”

“She’s the dirtiest little girl you’ve ever met,” said Grist. “Everything about her is filthy.”

Camponi declined to speak further with reporters, stating that she had been hoeing the bean patch in the family garden all day, was caked in dirt and desperately wanted a shower.

“I’ll talk to you guys after I’ve cleaned up,” she said.

In a side note,Camponi is presently pregnant with her stepfather’s illegitimate child.


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