New Congresswoman Decries FSU Loss

TALLAHASSEE, FL (API) – The University of Florida’s 41-14 trouncing of Florida State at Doak Campbell Stadium on Saturday saddened many Seminole football fans, but at least one was angry at the way the Gators defeated FSU.

“The Gators acted like Nazis,” said Representative-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez  (D-NY).  “I was appalled at the way they beat those poor Seminoles, who like the Jews in Germany in 1939 were only trying to escape with their lives.

“When we’re finally sworn in at Congress I can assure you that we will open an investigation into this horrible Third Reich-like massacre and I wouldn’t be surprised to find Adolph Trump behind it all.”

Ocasio-Cortez told reporter that after leaving the stadium her and her party went to the famed Cypress Restaurant for a late dinner.

“I was appalled at our treatment by the management and staff at the Cypress,” said Ocasio-Cortez.  “They acted like Nazis from the moment we arrived.”