HOLIDAY, FL (AIP) - Local used car salesman Ian Paul wants desperately to donate to charity - any charity- but he simply can't decide which blanket he would rather receive in thanks for his gift.
"I mean, they all have really cool blankets," said Paul. "But I need to find one that really speaks to me and, of course, keeps me warm".
After weeks of keeping himself glued to the television, Paul has narrowed it down to the Shriner's Hospital, Wounded Warriors, and that "freezing dog tied to the fence in the snow group", said Paul.
"They are all worthy," said Paul. "It's a fucking conundrum."
Paul bemoaned the lack of specificity in the otherwise heartbreaking pitches.
"Not one of these groups tells you if their blankets are virgin alpaca or merino," said Paul. "And I, for one, thinks that's damn important.
"If one of these worthy charities would offer a snuggly-like advocacy blanket I be in with all $5.00," Paul told reporters. "I am all for charitable giving. All those groups deserve my support."
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