FOSTER CITY, CA (AIP) – In a long awaited financial move dictated by new United Nations economic sanctions, financial services company Visa has cancelled North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un’s gold Visa card, a move that experts say will bring that country to its economic knees with a matter of days.
“We’ve got that little fucker now,” said Joint Chiefs of Staff vice chairman Major General Gabriel Conner. “No more big nights out for Kim and the boys. No more rewards points. It’s over for that country.
“I’m sure the look on Kim’s face will be priceless when his card is declined at Ikea.”
International banking expert Maurice Golden predicts that it may be only hours before the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is economically paralyzed.
“Intelligence estimates indicate that Kim has about $126.00 in the bank at this time,” said Golden. “He’s probably got no more than a couple of bucks in his pockets. The server isn’t going to accept ICBMs to pay for the dinner bill.”
Photos smuggled out of North Korea appear to show the entire populace going through sofa seat cushions and pockets of pants they haven’t worn in a few weeks looking for lost change.
In a related move China has sealed its border with North Korea in order to deal with the expected flood of refugees expected to be fleeing North Korea.
“That country is now broke and with the holidays coming the people of North Korea are going to become very unhappy very shortly”, said Chinese spokesman Chao Chin.
No comments:
Post a Comment