Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Rawl Comes Back

LACANTO, FL (AIP) – Saying that he doesn’t think he’s wounded anymore, carpet installer Andy Rawl told reporters that he’s ready to move along with his life.

“I usually wake up a quivering mass of self-doubt and regret,” Rawl told reporters, holding his first news conference in more than 8 months. “But today? Well today I feel alive and whole. I feel like the bleeding has finally stopped.”

Rawl, whose suddenly developing lack of confidence and angst stunned fans since February of 2017 seems to have regained his old form.

“I woke up today realizing that the nameless pain and sense of loss isn’t unique to me, that pretty much everyone has things in their lives that become festering wounds,” said Rawl. “I just decided to not let those things control my outlook on the future or the way I live my life day by day.”

Time Magazine’s chief personality reporter Melvin Blanc, who has been close friends with Rawl for nearly a decade, commented on Rawl’s psychological rebound.

“I ask him what he thought the future might bring,” said Blanc. “He looked me in the eye and said that he didn’t give a fuck. That’s when I knew he was healed. At that point I actually started to cry. He’s finally ok.”

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