Saturday, November 7, 2015

New Clinton Poll Numbers Not Surprising

NEW YORK (AIP) – The results of a new Quinac University national poll show that seven of 10 voters “fervently wish” that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton would take her own life, a 27 percent increase over the August results.

“People really want her to kill herself in overwhelming numbers,” said PUD analyst Michael Fraley. “It seems that more and more American’s are simply sick and tired of her lies, subterfuge, equivocations, falsehoods, misrepresentations and hubris.”

Poll respondent Monica Bradenton, a 38-year old dental hygienist from Tupelo, MS, made her feelings on the subject quite clear.

“If she committed suicide on pay-per-view I’d buy a fucking ticket to watch in HD,” said Bradenton.

Clinton, responding to questions about the polls latest results, seemed nonplussed.

“Kill myself? You mean like with a gun?” Clinton said to reporters.

The poll shows that almost 71 percent of likely voters mean exactly that.

The new poll also shows a slight decline in the number of likely voters who would enjoy seeing Clinton choke to death on a piece of meat. Forty Seven percent of voters now care to see her do that, down from 55 percent one month ago. The number of voters who would like her to crack her head open as a result of a fall in the shower remained constant 38 percent

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