Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Texas Stages Another Botched Execution

BROWNSVILLE, TX (AIP) – Notorious sexual predator and convicted killer Charlie Brown was put to death Wednesday night by lethal injection in what witnesses and prison officials was another example of a botched execution because of a problem with the chemical cocktail used to carry out the death sentence.

“He took over 45 minutes to die,” said prison Warden Bobby Bill McLean. “He spent three quarters of an hour strapped to the table screaming ‘good grief, good grief” over and over before finally succumbing. Frankly, we had hoped that it would take longer.”

Brown, who gained fame as a young cartoon character by displaying his unfocused angst coupled with a disturbing lack of motor skills and athletic ability, was convicted in the 1987 slaying of the Little Red-Haired Girl.

District Attorney Michael Brumfield, who prosecuted Brown for the murder, was a witness at the execution.

“Considering what he did to that little girl, I could have watched him writhe on that table for another couple hours,” said Brumfield. “He’s one sick son of a bitch and deserved everything he got.”

In Brown’s 1989 trial, Brumfield alleged that Brown lured the Little Red-Haired Girl from the school playground by asking her to help him find his lost puppy. He then abducted her, spent four days sexually assaulting her and finally killed her by beating her to death with a football kickoff tee. He then dumped her body in nearby Bloom County.

“I was appalled that he said that I was lost and used me to lure that little girl,” said Snoopy, Brown’s former pet beagle. “On the day in question I had smoked a bowl and was laying on top of my dog house digging the clouds and listening to Bob Marley. I was far from lost.

“Brown was one sick fuck. I just wish the execution had taken a lot longer than it did.”

Brown’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Brown also witnessed the execution and held a short press conference at its conclusion.

“Wawa wawa wawa Wa,” said Mrs. Brown to reporter, wiping tears from her eyes.

Warden Mclean said rumors that witnesses to the execution were calling for pop corn and sodas during the 45-minute ordeal were inaccurate.

“Didn’t happen,” said Mclean.

Death penalty opponents who normally stage protests and sit-ins during Texas executions were strangely absent during the proceedings.


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