Monday, August 25, 2014

New Poll Suggests Young Voters Happy

NEW YORK (AIP) – The latest Pew Research polling indicates that the majority of Americans under age 40, some 87 percent of those responding, are very happy to be governed by a hubris filled ruling elite who have undergone Botox or testosterones injections and speak to the electorate in the condescending way normally reserved for a stupid child.

“I much prefer to be governed by a group of semi-conscious elderly folks,” said young Republican voter Mindy Peppershank. “They know what’s best for us.

“For example, Nancy Pelosi’s comment that ‘we have to pass the bill to know what’s in it’ is really something people of my generation understand. It’s insightful and brilliant in its logic. I never would have known if I should be for or against Obama Care without her pointing the way.”

The vast majority of young voters feel the same way according to the Pew poll.

“I sometimes get angry with the things the government does, but then I remember that these elderly men and women are actually better and brighter than most of us,” said Steve Quarles, a 36-year old airline pilot and registered Democrat. “They know what’s best for each of us and force us to do it, regardless of our personal preferences or desires. It’s really a lot of responsibility taken off our shoulders and thrust onto theirs.”

Pew research indicates that a slightly small majority of young Americans, 82 percent, love to be condescended to by those in office.

“I love being talked down to,” said Kwami Sportu, a nuclear engineer and registered independent voter. “There’s no better for our elected officials to show us the utter contempt they hold us in than for them to speak to and treat us as imbeciles.”

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