TOPEKA, KS (AIP) – Mandy Ricardo, speaking to reporters at a press conference held in the parking lot of the Starbucks near Gage Park where she works as a Barista, once again complained of the double standard between her and boyfriend Charlie McCracken.
“He loves it when I blow him,” said Ricardo. “In fact, he requests that I do it at the weirdest times, like when we’re at my parents place and they’re both out of the room or when we’re driving on the interstate. But he never, ever goes down on me.”
McCracken contacted at his the Rueger Softball Complex where he was practicing with his team, had a quick response.
“It’s all about security,” said McCracken. “Most women close their eyes during any kind of sexual contact. Men don’t. That way we can keep an eye out for robbers and such. But if I’m going down on her who’s gonna keep a lookout?”
Mitch Marconi, Vice President for Home Security at Blackthorn Security Solutions, the nation’s largest personal protection company, agrees.
“FBI statistics show that 96 percent of successful home invasion robberies occur when the male in the household is performing cunnalingus on the female,” said Marconi. “Conversely, of those attempted home invasion robberies that occur when the male is receiving oral sex from the female, 99 percent are successfully defended against. It simply makes sense from a security perspective for the male to refrain from performing oral sex.
"From a home security standpoint, the only time a man should be going down is when he's going down on another man. That way someone is always on the lookout for potential trouble."