Tuesday, August 25, 2015

New Charity Fundraiser Craze Sweeping The Nation

BOSTON (AIP) – A new charity fundraising event is sweeping the nation. The Seven Story Challenge is quickly becoming the new, popular event to raise money for handicapped children, much like the Ice Bucket Challenge of 2014 helped fund research for a cure for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS).

“The Seven Story Challenge is a really great way to raise money to help those less fortunate and it’s a lot of fun,” said Boston event organizer Lou McCormick. “Like the Ice Bucket Challenge, participants raise pledges from friends, family and local businesses. Then they pick a seven story building in their local city and fling themselves from the roof.”

“This is a blast,” Boston participant Marvin Collins told reporters moments before hurling himself from the top of the Bruce Bolling Building to a certain death on the pavement in the heart of Boston.

McCormick said that people often film their local events and put the footage on YouTube.

“There’s some pretty horrific video of the Challenge out there,” said McCormick. “Seven stories is the minimum height of the events we sponsor, but there’s no limit. I saw footage from one event participants were jumping of the 27-story Kensington Building on Washington Street. When they hit they were as flat as pancakes.”

Local businessman Kyle McLaughlin, whose dry cleaning chain recently went into receivership raised $1,500 in pledges and then threw himself from the top floor of the roof of the Millennium Tower in the Downtown Crossing area. In a note he left behind he said he was grateful for the opportunity to help raise money for handicapped children.

“This event was exciting and meaningful for handicapped children everywhere,” read McLaughlin’s note. “And fuck that blood sucking, bitch ex-wife of mine.”

McCormick said that participants in the Challenge that accidentally survive the challenge are allowed to keep the donations that they raise.

“All of the very few of them at lived through the event have some pretty significant internal injuries and could really use those donations for medical expenses,” said McCormick.

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