Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Trump, Kelly To End Feud

NEW YORK (AIP) – In a stunning continuation of the feud which began during the Republican debate last Thursday night, Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has decided to once and for all end his dispute with Fox New Channel’s Megyn Kelly brought about by what he saw as a personal attack during the live telecast.

“I sent my second over to her office and challenged her to a duel,” said Trump, speaking to reporters Tuesday. “It’s pistols at 20 paces. When this is over not only will the red be coming from her eyes and nose and other places, I plan to hit her center mass so red should be coming out of a brand new hole in her sternum.”

Kelly’s second, Fox New personality Greg Gutfeld, was quick to accept the challenge on behalf of his master.

“Game on,” said Gutfeld on Tuesday.

Kelly is 22-0 in duels to the death with interviewees she has offended with personal attacks. Trump, meanwhile, normally has those who offend his sense of personal honor killed by shady third parties who have no visible connection with the victims.

MSNBC plans to cover the duel live, scheduled to take place in a back alley just off Bleecker Street in New York on Friday. MSNCB president Phil Griffin is hoping for a surprise ending.

“We’d love to broadcast a live double kill,” said Griffin. “Each firing a perfect shot simultaneously and destroying the other. Wouldn’t that be great television?”

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