Thursday, July 30, 2015

World Demands Answers About Cecil The Lion

NEW YORK (AIP) – People from around the world, outraged at the stalking and killing of Cecil the lion near a game preserve in Zimbabwe by American dentist Walter J. Palmer, have been asking what kind of man would do such a cruel thing and why.

New York University anthropologist Dr. William Mells, a expert on personality types, who has studied big game hunters for more than 20 years thinks he has the answer.

“The personality type of a man who would pay over $50,000 to fly halfway around the world to kill what was apparently a tame, people-friendly lion is actually pretty common in society” said Mells, speaking to reporters Friday. “You probably even know one or two.

“He’s generally a middle aged white male who recently purchased a Red or Black Corvette in an effort to mask his testosterone deficiency. The top three buttons of his shirt will be open, revealing a remarkably gaudy gold necklace.”

Mells told reporters that there are other indicators.

“He’s the guy at the bar that pays the attractive young bartender for his two beers with a hundred dollar bill,” said Mells. “In public he will talk way too loudly about the many expensive electronic items that he recently purchased. He will brag about his non-existent ‘really great’ golf game and intimate that he’s had sex with just about every desirable woman in the city.”

While some of these traits may appear in those who don’t have a predilection for killing big game animals, Dr. Mells says there’s one surefire indicator of those who do.

“The personality type we’ve been discussing will have the word ‘douche’ written across his forehead,” said Mells. “It isn’t visible under natural light, but throw a little black light on him and you can’t miss it.”

No comments: