ROME (AIP) - In an event wholly unexpected by both NATO and the Pentagon, tribes of Gauls and Visigoths arrived outside the gates of the city of Rome, declaring their intent to "rape and pillage" the metropolitan area, an event that Italians haven’t experienced in over 1,500 years.
“This was completely unexpected,” said North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) spokesman Colonel Max Van Plank, speaking from NATO headquarters in Brussels. “We were prepared for a Russian move in the East, or Islamic terrorists. We didn’t expect to see Barbarians pouring down the Po Valley and headed to Rome again.”
The Germanic tribes, led by Alaric Jr., have threatened to ‘sow terror, fear and trembling’ throughout the entire country and reclaim the glory that was once theirs.
“Eternal City my ass,” said Alaric, speaking to reporters just outside the city limits. “We sacked this place in 410 and we’re back in 2015. We are so going to rape and pillage.
The Germanic tribes, led by Alaric Jr., have treated to ‘sow terror, fear and trembling’ throughout the entire Eternal City and reclaim the glory that was once theirs.
“Back in the day the entire population of Western Europe looked at us with fear. Well, were here to bring back the 4th Century A.D. like it never left.”
“There isn’t much NATO can do to stop this invasion,” said Van Plank. “It would appear that the people of Rome are again at the mercy of the Barbarians.”