Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Obama Administration Finds Help for Immigrant Crisis

WASHINGTON (AIP) – In an effort to ease a growing humanitarian immigration crisis and in a reply to demands from officials for help from a number of Southwestern States, the Obama Administration today announced that it had accepted offers of help from the by the North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) to relocate a large number of newly arrived parentless children from Central and South American.

“Our organization is uniquely positioned to take care of these kids,” said NAMBLA spokesman Felix Bennson. “Our 11,000 nationwide members are prepared to go to Texas and California, pick up these poor young people at their own expense and provide them good homes.

“This crisis is over. In a few days it will be as if these young children never even existed.”

Obama Administration spokeswoman Judy Jerome said that the President was grateful for the organization’s offer of help.

“They called just in the nick of time,” said Jerome, speaking from the White House press room. “The President is happy to have them on board.”

NAMBLA member Steven St. Croix said he was packing his car and heading to the border.

“I plan to get a couple of the youths,” said St. Croix, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m gonna bring them back home to my place in Wheeling (WV) and we’re going to have a real good time.”

Bennson said that the blossoming crisis isn’t just about food, clothing a medical assistance for the children.

“Above all these kids need love,” said Bennson. “Our members are absolutely prepared to give them that.”

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