APOPKA, FL (AIP) – Despite repeatedly being rebuffed since his breakup with Missy Sharpleman over three years ago, Morris Bantam see encouraging signs from her recent response to his latest text message about missing her.
“She told me to ‘fuck off and die’ and I find that encouraging,” said Bantam. “Usually she just ignores my text messages but this time she actually responded. That’s certainly a good sign.”
Bantam, long known for his inability to see the writing on the wall or realize that the door has hit him on the ass leaving-wise, holds out hope that he can rekindle the relationship.
“I think I’m finally mature enough to realize that her sleeping with other men doesn’t mean she loves me less,” said Bantam. “And I also know that the gifts and money I give her will be vital to our renewed relationship.”
When contacted by reporters Sharpleman refused comment.