Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Owl Dead, Cat "Feline Of Interest"

BOSTON (AIP) – The Owl, a local musician who became famous for his year and a day sea journey with his eventual wife Pussy Cat, was found dead Friday on the doorstep of his friend the Turkey, a runcible spoon rammed through his supercilium according to police investigators.

“I was horrified,” said Turkey, who had been a neighbor of Owl and Pussy Cat for over 2 years since he preformed the couple’s wedding. “It was blood and feathers and that spoon jammed in his eyebrow. I’ll never get the image out of my mind.”

Police say that Pussy Cat has become a feline of interest in the case, but have been unable to locate her.

“We know that when the couple sailed away for a year and a day they had plenty of money wrapped in a five pound note,” said Boston police sergeant Mathew Vann. “They’ve lived pretty simply since that time so we’re not sure about what happened to all that money.

Defense attorney Brian Mingor, who has represented Pussy Cat in the past, spoke to reporters Friday afternoon at his law office.

“There’s no way Pussy Cat was involved with this,” said Mingor. “She doesn’t have an opposable thumb. It would have been physically impossible for her to wield the spoon and jam it into Owls eyebrow. Case closed.”

Police sergeant Vann isn’t so sure.

“We want to talk to her,” said Vann. “We’ve contact police in the Land where the Bong Tree grows. We have a feeling that she might have fled back there where she and Owl owned some property on the edge of the sand where they used to dance by the light of the moon.”

Owl’s longtime friend Piggy-wig was devastated by the news of his murder.

“I used to go and see his band play,” said Piggy-wig. “He sang so charmingly sweet. I’m gonna miss him.”

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