Friday, May 8, 2015

Biden Not Out Of The Race

WASHINGTON (AIP) - Vice President Joe Biden, who insiders say is still intent on running for President in 2016, took a few soft jabs at Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton on Friday, in a signal that she wasn't running unopposed.

"Everybody says she's a sure thing for President," Biden told reporters. "But Uncle Joe has been to a few rodeos. Nothing is a sure thing until you're dumping the used condom in the garbage can.

"George McGovern was a sure thing too, until he picked Tom Eagleton, which tore his balls off. Could be that old Hillary gets her balls torn off too."

As he spoke Biden attempted to hand reporters from MSNBC and the New York Times thick envelopes marked "inside shit" which both reporters declined to accept.

"Jesus tittyfucking christ boys, there's pure honey in these envelopes," said Biden. “You wouldn’t believe the shit that Hillary has been involved with. Don’t you want to know?”

Biden then opened one of the envelopes and began reading the contents but reporters at the press conference plugged their ears with their fingers and began humming “da, da, da, da, da” and quietly walked away, leaving a befuddled Biden alone in the room.

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