Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Clinton Knocking Them Dead In Iowa

DES MOINES, IA (AIP) – Pollsters in Iowa, pointing to their latest survey of likely Democratic voters in 2016, have pretty much proclaimed that Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the United States, despite the damning new tell-all book The Clinton Connection.

“She’s a lock,” said Senior Pew Public Opinion researcher Thomas Giff. “There’s no one even close to her in the polls.”

The Clinton Connection, written by long time Clinton watcher Max Weygand, details with clear and convincing evidence how the Clinton Foundation has been involved with Latin American child sex trafficking, the opium trade in Southeast Asia, gun running to radical Islamic groups and cock fighting in rural South Carolina.

None of it seems to matter to voters.

“It’s amazing,” said Giff. “Nothing sticks to her. Over 83 percent of likely Democratic voters are blindly supporting her in a poll we did after the release of the latest book. She’s actually gained support.”

Giff said polls indicate that Clinton seems to have only one weakness.

“Historically, the only time Hillary has taken a dip in the polls is when a photo or video of her kankles appears in the media”, said Giff. “She’ll drop 15 or 20 points overnight if a shot of those bloated things are on the front page.

“As long as she sticks to pants on the campaign trail, she’s a shoo-in to get the nomination.”

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