FERGUSON, MO (AIP) – Saying that he was tired of the ‘honky bullshit’ President Barack Obama today flew to Ferguson and announced that the White House will offer a $100,000 bounty for the capture of former Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson ‘dead or alive’.
“If I had a son he would have looked like Trayvon and if I had a second son he would have looked like Michael Brown,” said Obama to a gathering of reporters outside of a recently burned down grocery store in Ferguson. “I can’t wait for these white devils to kill off my entire imaginary family before taking action.
“The American people are tired of congress not passing legislation that allow black folks to ignore any law that they don’t like. I’ve got a pen and a phone and a Glock and I’m going to use them.”
The Reverend Al Sharpton was ecstatic about the president’s latest edict.
“We’re going to show white American just how angry we are about… things,” said Sharpton. “The example of Gandhi showed just how effective non-violent looting and arson can be for a people seeking freedom.
The White House website – www.fuckwhitefolks.com – announced that the $100,000 bounty would be paid when Wilson’s body is produced at the gate of the White House. No questions will be asked. Officials will accept Wilson’s head in lieu of the entire body.
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