GREENVALLEY, NC (AIP) – In a ruling announced Friday, the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has designated the land at both Boardwalk and Park Place to be ‘environmentally sensitive protected areas’ and denied developer Kyle Wilson’s request to build either houses or hotels on those properties.
“I mortgaged my holdings in Marvin Gardens and the Water Works to acquire those lands,” said Wilson, speaking to reporters Friday evening. “This new federal designation denies me the ability to develop these properties, which in turn will probably bankrupt me.”
Sister Shellie Wilson agreed with her brother.
“The new EPA requirements on the disposal of coal combustion residual (CCRs) have essentially forced me to board up the Electric Company,” said Shellie. “There is no way I can comply financially with the new environmental requirements.”
Meanwhile, a preliminary finding by the State Department will probably make father Matt Wilson’s dream of building a pipeline across his three properties at Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Pacific Avenues just a pipe dream indeed.
“These are now essentially worthless properties, thanks to intrusive government regulation in private industry,” said Matt.
Meanwhile the local governments of Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues have both declared bankruptcy and stopped making monthly pension payments to retired avenue workers, meaning that development in both the housing and hospitality industries has come to a halt.
“There’s no way I can win,” said an angry Matt Wilson. “In fact there’s no way that any of us can win. The family briefly discussed folding this up and moving on to play The Game Of Life, but new, higher income tax rates and Obama Care requirements have drained the fun out of that too.”