WASHINGTON (AIP) – Vowing to make good on Vice President Joseph Biden’s promise to “send them to hell”, on Thursday the United States Department of Veterans Affairs offered to provide the same quality medical care that United State military veterans receive to all soldiers injured fighting for the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS).
“This should effectively destroy ISIS as a fighting force in almost no time,” said Veterans Affairs spokesman Les Goldman. “The initial treatment wait time alone should kill off most of the more severely wounded and once we take the others in for treatment the problem will be solved, if you know what I mean.”
The move is just one of the economic measures the Obama Administration is considering in the war against ISIS. The Administration is also contemplating taking away the Lifeline Assistance and Lifeline Linkup phones – widely known as the Obama Phones – which the government has provided to ISIS fighters who qualify because of low income.
“Most of the tweets and YouTube uploads depicting scenes of massacre and destruction from the war zone have come via these phones,” said administration spokesman Josh Earnest. “Take away the free phones and problem solved.”
Earnest said that the administration is also considering making ISIS fighters ineligible for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), Pell educational grants and the U.S. Housing and Urban Development rental assistance program.
“These economic sanctions, while harsh, should have ISIS crying ‘uncle’ in almost no time,” said Earnest.