BALTIMORE (AIP) – Protesters in large numbers came out again Monday night in a show of civil disobedience in the wake of the death of local resident Freddie Gray and proceeded to loot every local electronics store of virtually every flat screen TV in the greater Baltimore area.
“The Hitachi, the Sony, the Magnavox; only by taking these will we find social justice,” said the Reverend James Carmichael, speaking to a crowd of mourners Monday afternoon. “It is only through the pilfering of high end electronics can the community find peace and justice.”
Protesters took Carmichael’s words to heart.
“The death of what’s his name is a crime that society must pay for”, said protester Marcus Washington, speaking while exiting the Best Buy with a 46 inch Sony TV under his arm. “We demand some fucking justice and Hi Def viewing pleasure.”
Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake urged business leaders to take preventative measure in the wake of the protests.
“We strongly urge businesses not to lock their doors or otherwise impede these protesters”, said Rawlings-Blake. “Businesses can avoid broken store front windows and wrenched-off doors by simply keeping their doors unlocked and their asses out of sight.”
By early Tuesday morning it became apparent to Carmichael and other protest leaders that the stock of available flat screen TVs had become exhausted.
“I’m now urging my fellow protesters to seek justice for Freddie Gray in the looting of top tier wrist watches, sunglasses and designer handbags,” said Carmichael. “This is how Gandhi or Martin Luther King would have adapted to meet this fluid situation.”