DETROIT (AIP) – The Addison Chair Company has announced a breakthrough in office chair technology that will lock the chairs swivel mechanism, keeping the seat turned in the precise position that the last user left it until the user returns.
“Thank goodness scientists have finally found a way to keep the chair in place,” said Sixth Circuit Senior Court Clerk Kelli Martinez. “I have hated standing up to swear witnesses in and then sitting back down only to catch the chair arm in the crack of my ass. The damn thing swivels when I stand up. It’s embarrassing and annoying and sometimes pretty painful.”
Addison lead researcher Max Thorton is proud of his team’s the breakthrough.
“This is going to be particularly helpful to those court clerks who suffer from hemorrhoids,” said Thorton.