Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Ask Heloise

Hey Heloise,

I am part of a student group at Brown University that will be traveling to the Levant this summer for our class in ancient history. I have been told by others that it’s considered ‘bad form’ and offensive to the locals to apply hair gel or pomade on the morning when I will be decapitated. Is this correct?

Perplexed in Providence.

Dear Perplexed,

What you’ve heard is correct. Hair gel, pomade and wax are all considered no no’s on the morning of your beheading by ISIS. The native fighters are highly offended by such products.

From a practical point of view hair gel and the like cause the hair to become slippery, making it harder for your executioner to grip the scalp while sawing away at the throat. If you feel compelled to wear any hair product, I would recommend a quality mousse, which increases the volume of your hair and gives the executioner better control of your skull.

Enjoy your class trip.


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