Friday, March 27, 2015

Accused Killers Set Free

KEY WEST, FL (AIP) – Defense attorneys Ryan Mingor and Mason Wayne, representing co-defendants Deontae Morris and Jovantae Norris in the murder of homeless man Grady Michaels, won a key legal battle Thursday when Circuit Judge Kyle Richards-Epstein granted their motion to dismiss after hearing argument that the victim was a ‘nobody’.

“The victim in this case was a fucking drunk, homeless loser,” Mingor told reporters as he escorted his client Deontae Morris from the Monroe County Jail. “You can’t, by definition, kill a nobody. Deontae deserves his freedom.”

Judge Richards-Epstein was impressed by the defense theory of the case.

“Mingor and Wayne had no case law on point,” said Richards-Epstein. “Their argument was illogical and I believe they misrepresented the facts on a number of points, but it all boils down to the reality that the victim in this case was a homeless nobody. If you kill nobody, then nobody’s been killed.”

Assistant State Attorney Clyde Barrow took the loss in good humor.

“Shit, Mingor and Wayne played me like the Globetrotters play the Washington Senators,” said Barrow.

“We caught Barrow flat-footed from the get go,” said Wayne. “He’s pretty clueless and I distracted him with some candy. He loves jelly beans.”

Barrow said that he doesn’t plan to appeal the judge’s ruling.

“I’m leaving the office in two weeks to go into private practice,” said Barrow. “And when you get right down to it, the victim was a nobody.”

In answer to critics who said that Mingor and Wayne’s characterization of the victim as a ‘nobody’ was heartless, Mingor was unrepentant.

“You want hearts? Buy a fucking deck of cards,” said Mingor.

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