Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Bolden Optimistic Despite Evidence

BOSIE, IH (AIP) – Kyle Bolden shocked a normally jaded group of reporters Thursday, declaring that he had a feeling the something good was about to happen to him.

“I can’t explain it,” said Bolden with a rare smile. “I just feel like something good is going to happen today and it’s going to involve me.”

Bolden, whose life experience has been a cycle of sadness, frustration, disappointment and misfortune, seems to have learned nothing from his vast and painful personal diappointments which are breathtaking in their breadth and scope.

“All that is true, and I don’t know what to tell you,” said Bolden. “I just have this feeling that I can’t explain.”

When reporters pointed out that from a historical perspective Bolden’s optimism has no basis in fact, he merely shrugged.

Reporters gleefully reminded Bolden that he never once made a sports team at any school he ever attended despite repeated attempts. He never had a girlfriend who hadn’t cheated on him. He had the same car stolen three times in one week and then there was that period of his life when he was mistakenly accused of murder and held in custody without bond for two years until the real killer confessed. He was repeatedly anally raped by fellow inmates during that time.

Bolden remained unruffled, even buoyant.

“It’s kind of sucked,” said Bolden. “But I just feel like the sucking stops today. I just know something good is going to happen to me.”

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