Monday, March 9, 2015

Local Woman Victimized Again

JOHNSON CITY, TN (AIP) – Local woman Joanne Rideout once again became the victim of domestic violence at the at the hands of her husband Vic Friday evening when he was forced yet again to teach her a lesson in respect by slapping her twice in the yard in front of the neighbors.

“It was an unfortunate incident,” said Washington County Sheriff’s Deputy Normal Bloom. “It could have been avoided if the stupid bitch had just prepared dinner and had it on the table like she’s been told to do.”

According to witnesses, it was another Friday evening when the lazy cunt spent too much time watching The View and failed to put the pot roast in the oven in a timely fashion.

“He’s told me and told me,” said Rideout, nursing on beauty of a shiner, like she has so many times before. “You’d think I’d eventually learn my god damn lesson, but I don’t.”

It’s the seventh time this year that police have been called to the Rideout residence to mediate a domestic dispute.

“We’re getting a little tired coming out here because Joanne can’t follow simple directions,” said Deputy Bloom. “From now on we’re going to have central dispatch call the idiot on Fridays at 3:00 p.m. to remind her to get off her ass and start cooking because she doesn’t seem to remember what will happen to her is she doesn’t.”

"It gets old, kicking the shit out of her but it has to be done," said Vic, who was comforted by neighbors after the incident and transported to the hospital to make sure the slight bruises on the palms of his hands didn't require medical attention. "At least she was bright enough to make sure there was beer in the fridge."


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