THE HAGUE – Conspiracy theorists who have long claimed that world events are actually controlled by an elite and mysterious few powerful men known as the “Illuminati” received a boost Friday when researchers at an abandon storage site here unearthed what purports to the Illuminati’s Daily Planner from 1968.
“Finally we’ve got some hard proof,” said lead conspiracy theorist Bartlett St. James, who flow to The Hague to examine the book. “We’ve known all along that the Rothschild’s and the Rockefellers control everything. Now we’ve got some pretty strong proof that we aren’t the insane nut jobs that people have said we are.”
The daily planner, an innocuous- looking brown leather legal sized book was found in an old filing cabinet under empty file folders. On the front inside leaf is clearly written “Illuminati Daily Planner, 1968.” According to St. James the book, if authentic, holds some pretty explosive revelations.
“I turned to the June 5th page and at the very top is ‘Have R. Kennedy shot in the kitchen’”, said St. James. “The next day, June 6th, was the day Robert Kennedy was gunned down in the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Coincidence? I think not.
“The January 21st page contains the entry ‘have North Koreans capture American spy boat’. Two days later, January 23, the North Korean navy boarded the USS Pueblo. January 27th ‘have Viet Cong begin offensive’ and four days later they launched the Tet offensive.”
Aside from these major insights the planner also contains more humdrum entries.
July 12th – “Send Kissinger out for donuts”.
November 1st – “Have Nelson (presumably Rockefeller) vacuum office”.
“I’m sure that, as independent experts examine the planner in greater detail the general public will be astounded at the revelations,” said St. John.