San Francisco - WEBSEEK researchers have finally located the one man in the United States who knows Jack Shit. It's Andy Johnson from Kingsport, TN.
"Yeah, I know Jack. So?", said Johnson, a Kingsport city sanitation worker. "He owe you money? Shit owes everybody money".
It turns out that that Jack Shit doesn't know, well jack shit.
"Dumbest man in the city," said Mayor Greer Weeks." Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground".
Andy Johnson agrees.
"Yeah, he's damn dumb," said Johnson.
Most of the city's citizens seem to agree.
"He's as stupid as fucking your best hunting dog", said Clayton Doss, director of school personnel for the city of Kingsport.
"Idiot", according to Cindy Kramer, activist with Kingsport Homeless Outreach. "I wouldn't trust him with a pillow. He'd find a way to screw it up".
FOLLOW THE NEXT WEBSEEK TEAM SEARCH WHEN WE LOOK FOR "SHIT HEAD".