Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Court: Man Liable For Corporate Loss

ATLANTA (AIP) – A federal judge has ruled that Macon, GA resident Forrest Bettaker  is “absolutely 100 percent liable for monetary damages to the Sunocio Pharmaceutical Corporation” when he inadvertently crushed the Lunesta Green Butterfly, thereby making the product no longer effect for 30 million daily users.
“Mr. Bettaker’s thoughtless and reckless disregard for the sleep happiness for our customers is unbelievable,” said Sunocio Pharmaceutical vice president of research John Hopkin-Martin.  “The man is an idiot.”

Bettaker’s attorney Martin Johnanson disagrees with both Hopkin-Martin and the federal judge assigned to the case.

“My guy wakes up in the middle of the night and sees this green, glowing bug sitting on his chest and crushes it,” said Johnanson.  “What’s he supposed to do?  He’s got no idea what’s going on.  My client doesn’t even take Lunesta.  The damn bug went to the wrong house.”

Hopkin-Martin said that with the untimely and violent death of the Butterfly there is no mechanism to transport sleep to the many users of the drug. 

“We spent hundreds of millions of dollars on research and development of this drug,” said Hopkin-Martin.  “He needs to pay us back.”

In a counter suit, Bettaker is asking the court to force the drug maker to make restitution for the comforter that was stained by the innards of the Butterfly.

“The stain will not come out,” according to court filings.

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