Friday, October 17, 2014

FBI Cracks Cold Case

BEDFORD, MS (AIP) – The FBI announced Monday that cold case agents have made an arrest in the notorious case of the man who let the dogs out, a crime that both shocked and sickened the nation and was made famous by the 2000 Grammy Award winning song Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men.

Bedford resident Calvin Allison, a retired high school civics teacher was arrested Monday in a joint raid by local police and federal agents that swooped in and captured him without incident as he tended to his backyard garden.

“We have been working this case for 14 years and we’ve finally got our man,” said FBI agent Martin Keysman, who spearheaded the 14-year long, $87 million dollar hunt for the perpetrator. “We’ve got pretty air tight evidence that Allison is the guy. We’ve finally caught the bastard. We just wish he would have resisted.

“Now, perhaps, the public can have some closure.”

When questioned, Keysman was unable to name an actual victim of the crime, or even point to a state or federal statute that Allison is accused of violating.

“We just know that he let the dogs out. He’s the cold bastard who let the dogs out,” said Keysman. “The FBI has finally answers that question.”

Allison, speaking by phone from the Bedford jail, seemed unapologetic.

“Of course I let the dogs out, they had to go out,” said Allison, being held at no bond pending a first appearance hearing before a federal judge tomorrow. “What? I’m going to let them shit and piss in the house? This is all ridiculous.”

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