ROME (AIP) – Pope Francis, head and spiritual leader of the Roman Catholic Church and Abu Bakral al Baghdadi, Caliph and spiritual leader of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) engaged in a physical confrontation inside Rome’s posh Barde Fico Nightclub early Friday morning according to insiders who witnessed the dust up.
“It was like 3:00 in the morning and the place was packed and above the music I heard a guy yell ‘Hey Pope, you lookin at my bitches?’”, said Alfonso Biagino, a local college student. “I looked over and it was al Baghdadi who was hanging with his 72 virgins in the VIP area. Let me tell you, there’s a reason those ugly bitches are virgins.”
Bartender Bernardo Enrico takes the story from there.
“I know the Holy See heard al Baghdadi because he turned around and squinted through the cigarette smoke,” said Enrico. “Then the Pope turned back around and resumed his conversation with Sister Jenna Jameson and Sister Tera Patrick.
“Well, that must have pissed al Baghdadi off because he came barreling down the bar, pushing people out of the way and got right in the Pope’s face. At the time I remember hoping that neither one was packing.”
Biagino saw al Baghdadi wave his finger under the Pope’s nose and heard him say ‘omak mesasa’. The Pope pushed his hand away and yelled ‘bastardus’.
“Then it was game on,” said Baigino.
“There were no actual punches,” said Enrioc. “Just some pushing and chest bumping. Bouncers separated the two and by the time the Carabinieri arrived the Pope had already left in his Corvette with the two sisters. Al Baghdadi hung out for a while and ended up punching a hole in the men’s room wall and then left in his tour bus with the bitches at about dawn. It was really no big deal.”