KNOXVILLE, TN (AIP) – Recently retired Knox County Deputy Clerk of the Court Wayne DeSouza ‘s new book I Ate Their Lunch has flown to the top of the New York Times best seller how to category after only two weeks on the market.
“I can’t tell you how please I am,” said first time author DeSouza, a 24-year veteran of the Knox County Clerk’s office, who spent much of his time filing paper into court files. “It just goes to show you that if you are good at something and can put your thought on paper you can make a buck.”
In his book DeSouza claims to have never once purchased or brought a lunch from home. He lived for 24 years stealing co-workers lunches out of the communal break room refrigerators of the North Knox County court house on Maynardville Pike.
“I ate pretty damn good for 24 years and I can help others do the same,” said the 5-8, 260 pound DeSouza patting his stomach. “I worked with some pretty good cooks.”
Among other tips that DeSouza writes about he says that timing is everything.
“If most of the staff in the office goes to lunch at 11:30 or noon, the lunch bandit has to strike at 11:00 or 11:15,” he writes in his book. “The best method is to remove the meal from the container – the box or bag – and return the container to its original position. That way you not only enjoy a great and free lunch, but the owner has one of those ‘fuck me’ moments when they open the container and find it empty.
“They always seemed to enjoy that moment and so did I.”
It’s easy to eat well at no cost according to the book.
“You’ve got to watch what the fat people bring their lunch in,” said the author. “They eat well and they eat a lot. Avoid taking the lunches of skinny or health conscious folks. It will either be very scanty or taste like crap.”