CHICAGO, IL (AIP) – Bowing to pressure from the National Organization for Women (NOW) and various other women’s rights groups the American Medical Association (AMA) has agreed to change the names of several diseases, conditions and aliments.
“It’s about time,” said NOW spokeswoman Gloria San Miguel. “Finally women will begin to see the same progress in the medical world that we’ve been experiencing in the workplace. We aren’t there yet, but we’re getting closer.”
Beginning immediately the AMA will refer to “Herpes Simplex” as “Himpes Simplex”, “hernia” as “himnia” and the condition of “hermaphroditism” as “himmaphroditism”. The group confirmed that it would continue to use the name “Hemorrhoid” and is still debating changing “feces” to “heces”.
“This is a major victory for woman,” said San Miguel, who likened the AMA’s new policy to the National Weather Service’s decision last spring to begin calling Atlantic cyclones “himicanes” in lieu of “hurricanes”.
“I am amazed to the point of befuddlement,” said retired former AMA president Dr. Charles Boyer. “I fought these changes for years as just plain silly. It’s pointless.”
“Boyer is just another soldier in the war on women,” said San Miguel. “Clearly he’s an uninformed sexist. We won’t stand for his kind of institutionally embedded degradation.”