Tuesday, June 3, 2014

War Flares Up Again

THE MILLERS BACK YARD (AIP) - The long smoldering and bitter feud between Black Ant Fundamentalists and the Nation of Red ants exploded into a shooting war today, with hordes of Black Ants streaming across the border and attacking Red Ant strongholds on the Miller's raised flowerbeds and threatening to overrun the Red Ant capitol city of Anthill.

"We will push the hated red ants off our land and reclaim what is rightfully ours,” said Black Ant Supreme Commander Beta 12435. "We will drink the haemolymph of the Reds out of chalices"

Black Ant United Nations Ambassador Beta 258946 today in New York claimed that home owner Miller’s youngest son Steven Miller has been air dropping the Reds Ants pop tart crumbs and Frito chips, enabling Red army divisions to supply fresh meals to their hard pressed troops. Beta 258946 further charged that Miller had supplied the Reds with Magnifying Glass technology, strictly forbidden by International treaty, for use in the field.

"This illegal outside help is prolonging this war," said Beta 258946.

Red Ant president Alpha 890543, who as army chief of staff during the 1968 multinational Black Ant invasion of the Red Ant Kingdom gained fame by reclaiming the key highpoints near the Miller’s jungle gym equipment, was quick to respond to those charges.

"While my nation with neither confirm nor deny it possesses of Magnifying Glass technology, rest assured that we will utilize every weapon at our disposal to defend to the death our hills and holes," said Alpha 890543, speaking to reporters at Red Ant army headquarters.

Mandible to mandible fighting was reported to have raged outside the holy city of Anthill since dawn today.

"Our ants at fortified positions on the seven sprinkler heads are holding out," said Alpha 890543.

Meanwhile homeowner Michael Miller, contacted by cell phone said that he had no knowledge of any such fighting in his back yard.

"I don't know anything about it," said Miller. "But if you telling me I have bugs in my backyard, then I guess I better call Orkin."

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