Sunday, June 1, 2014

G7 Follows Jung-Un Lead


BRUSSELS (AIP)- G7 Member Nations today announced that they would follow North Korean leader Kim Jung-un's lead and require all male college students in their respective member nations to get horribly bad haircuts to mimick the heredity leader of the "hermit kingdom".

"It's our feeling that young men of a certain age are way too cocky and hubris filled", said British government spokesman Clive Duncan-Martin. "Requiring them to get a dickhead haircut will go a long way toward keeping those bastards in check; take a little wind out of their sails so to speak".

London barber Colon Fist is thrilled by the new regulations.

"It's a bloody awful look," said Fist. "Nobody would choose it voluntarily. But I'll be happy to shave those poor boys heads."

British Capmakers Union spokesman Dalton Clive was equally pleased.

"We expect to make a fortune," said Clive. "Next year's fashion watchword will be 'cover it'".

British Home Secretary Martin Redux-Martin wasn't so pleased.

"Our office expects the national birth rate to drop dramatically," said Redux-Martin. "No girl is going to allow a young man with that kind of hair style to ejaculate inside her, or anywhere near her for that matter."


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