ALEXANDRIA,VA (AIP) – In another stunning decision issued fast on the heels of the revocation of the Washington profession football team’s ‘Redskins’ trademark, the United State Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) has stripped the Crayola Crayon Company of its trademark on the names of the colors ‘Red’ and ‘Black’.
“The names ‘black’ and ‘red’ are inherently disparagingly and racist,” said USPTO spokesman Deborah Hollister. “As such, under the Lanham Act, the federal trademark protection of those names must be removed. A company simply cannot trademark a racist name.
“Any time a group of four or five citizens is offended by something we feel it is our duty under federal law to act quickly and decisively.”
Officials at Crayola corporate headquarters in Easton, PA, were swift to react.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding,” said company vice president Debbie Johnson-Marie. “Those are simply the names of the colors. There’s no implied racism. Where do these rulings come from? We certainly plan to appeal this misguided decision.”
Johnson-Marie assured reporters that the company would continue to manufacture and market the controversial colors.
“Our customers will still get red and black in the box,” said Johnson-Marie. “And our other colors are absolutely unaffected by this decision.”
Crayola still holds trademarks on a number of its signature colors including Banyan Bay Beige, Cayenne Pepper, Kike, Cracker, Wop, Slope, Wetback, Rag head, Limey and Greasy Bohunk.
“I guess that the easily offended humorless sector of the market needs to purchase another firms crayons,” said Johnson-Marie.
In further action announced today the USPTO also stripped trademark protection from ‘Yellow Rice’, asphalt producer ‘Blacktop’, the nation of Nigeria, the ‘Red’ River’, and the French words ‘Noir’ and ‘blanc'.
Nigerian officials said they do not plan to appeal the decision.