Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Obama Signs Gun Control Act

WASHINGTON, DC (AIP) – President Barack Obama today signed into law a sweeping federal statute restricting the private ownership of guns, hailing the new legislation as “a step in the right direction to prevent the kind of horrible shootings and massacres that have occurred in our Nation”.

“The Pelosi-Reid law is exactly what this Country needs,” said Mr. Obama.

The new statute, sponsored in the House of Representatives by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and in the Senate by Harry Reid (D-NV), prohibits ownership of any kind of firearms by large groups of citizens including anyone who has filed a federal tax return, adults with no previous arrest record, white males in Southern or Western states and anyone “generally known to be law abiding by the standards of the community they live or work in”.

“Since the House of Representatives passed my bill and was subsequently allowed to read it and learn its contents most members are highly pleased,” said Pelosi. “This law will go a long way toward protecting innocent Americans.”

Pelosi said that the law contains some carve outs which common sense would dictate.

“Members of recognized street gangs would still be allowed to own guns, as well as the mentally ill, disgruntled postal workers and, of course, terrorists,” said Pelosi. “Body guards for celebrities and members of Congress, the very wealthy and South American drug cartels, as well as street thugs, those with sexual criminal records, drug dealers in the greater Chicago area and suicidal rock stars also are not affected by this change in the law.”

Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, in a rare public comment about a law that has yet to be challenged in court, sounded positive about the legislation.

“I hope no one is foolish enough to actually attempt to challenge the constitutionality of this law in front of my court,” said Roberts. “It’s the rock solid law of the land.”


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